Fowl Language
by umwut
Summary: Butler attempts to teach Artemis to curse to impress Holly... but he doesn't count on Artemis getting addicted to 'Fowl Language.'


A/N ok this was and Idea made my me and Lauren it originally was gonna be on the joint account but I ended up writing the whole first chapter so its just going up on mine! But Lauren did still did beta-read and Charlotte and Lauren both wrote comments and Charlotte read a lot of it while I was writing it and help with a few ideas while we sat in the back of Religion class yesterday while we were supposed to watch 'The Ten Commandments'… today I just drew cause Lauren had my notebook so she could beta-read… aaaaaaynnyways…

Ch1 Books, Plans, & Fortune Cookies

A pale fourteen-year-old boy, with raven hair, and pale blue eyes sat in front of a computer desk, typing non-stop. The door cracked open, he jumped and flung his arms over the computer, desperately trying to hide the screen from any un-wanted eyes.

"I've got Chinese!" Cried Butler happily as he closed the door behind him and laid the carryout on a near-bye table.

"Ehh" grunted Artemis, trying to hide the computer screen from Butler.

Butler, too dumb to realize that Artemis was in the middle of something he didn't want Butler to see, looked puzzled when Artemis did not respond. "Cummon!" Said Butler, "look! Lo Mein Noodles!" he said, waving the carton of noodles in Artemis's face. Artemis desperately tried to save and close out of his Microsoft Word file without letting Butler see. Unfortunately, he wasn't so lucky. "Watcha got there, Arty?" Asked Butler as he read the computer screen. "'Plan to Impress Holly Short.' Ooooooooooooooooo! Arty's got a girlfriend!"

"that's the problem, I don't." Artemis muttered under his breath, but aloud he cried, "No I don't! It was… just a dare from some friends in school!"

"You have friends?"

"Lets just drop it… ok?" asked Artemis, a bit edgy, "it… it was just a joke… lets just eat."

Butler decided to drop it for a while, to give his tiny brain time to think up a plan.

The first half of dinner was highly un-eventful. It wasn't until they opened their fortune cookies that anything worth noting happened. "What does your cookie say?" asked Butler through a mouthful of General Tso's Chicken. (He would have said 'fortune cookie' but couldn't remember the word for fortune.) He picked up his fortune cookie and read, "'through thick and thin you will always be a great friend to rely on.'" Butler grinned sheepishly. "He!" he giggled like a school girl, "I'm a good friend! …What's yours say?"

"'The love of your life will acknowledge you shortly.'" Replied Artemis with no enthusiasm. It took him a few seconds to realize what he'd said.

Butler's grin grew wider and even dumber looking than before, "Really?" he asked, "did it say you'd meet her _shortly_?"

"Uh… yea I think so…" said Artemis; it took a moment for him to realize what Butler meant, "oooooooooooo! IT'S A PUN!"

"Well" said Butler, getting up and brushing soy sauce drenched rice off his lap, "I think I have an idea for to impress a certain short LEP officer, I just need to get the book." And with that he left the room.

Artemis stood for a second thinking about what Butler had just said, "Short… LEP… officer… LEP… Ew! He's not thinking about Root is he?"

Moments later Butler had returned with his book and the two had relocated to the third lounge on the second below ground floor. Butler set the book down on a table and sat down in one of the squishy armchairs in the room. Artemis glanced apprehensively at the book, "'How to Curse in Twenty-Three Point Five Languages'?" he asked.

A/N

Me: Yea! I got the first chapter finished! I know it's really short (no pun intended this time), but it was the perfect cliffy… I just love cliffys

Lauren: I got like no room… oh well! I'm off to go recruit Arty for the Aurealian cheerleading team…

Charlotte Butler is REALLY STUPID, thanks for showing him how dumb he truly is! Hehehehe!

Random Evil Announce-y Voice of Doom: aaaaand know it's time for Harry Potter and the Reviewers!

::Lame music plays much like you'd here in a Barney video and Harry, Ron, and Hermione burst through a paper banner::

Harry: Hi! I'm Harry!

Hermione: I'm Hermione!

Ron: I'm Ron! …And this is Raphael! ::motions to air on his left:: he's my friend!

Hermione: you mean your _imaginary _friend?

Ron: NO! He's real! ::sobs:: you're gonna offend Raphael!

Hermione: than how come I don't see anyone?

Ron: duh! He's _invisible_!

Hermione: O.o

Harry: aaaaynyways… good fic… but still doesn't beat Barney! ::huggles his Barney stuffed animal::

Hermione: Harry, did you know that your parents weren't actually murdered by Voldemort, but committed suicide because of you?

Me: ::tries desperately to stuff them back into the empty locker below hers in school:: Well that's all for today!

::lights dim and every buddy gets in a line in Center Stage… music starts to play…::

Everyone: 'the time has come for us to go!

And take the giant step t'words tomorrow!

Were filled with happy ness no-ot sorrow!

Lets not say good bye because we'll meet again…'


End file.
